Fat and Frumpy

Last night I totally had a TAMN moment (for those who read seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com). I decided to go to both the 7:00 Zumba class and 8:00 Yoga class at the gym last night. I always work out better if I look cute (don't judge me) so I had done my hair and brushed on some bronzer so I looked hot and tan. I was wearing my Nike UnderArmour-esque top and matching stretchy pants. Lookin' good, or so I thought. After about 15 minutes of Zumba I was ready for the oxygen mask and wheelchair. It freakin kicked my butt. I look in the mirror, my face is bright red, my Nike-wicking shirt is covered in pitty and back sweat, my hair has now fallen down and so I pulled it up in a remenescent snot rag and just bucked up. At the end of the class I scraped myself up off the floor and went outside of the gym room to get a drink, when lo and behold, there's my high-school nemesis on the stationary bike.

When I say nemesis, you know the girl who's hair was always different every day, one day it was curly, the next day straight, perfect make-up, gorgeous Crest Whitestrips teeth, just a hair skinnier than you are, one more session in the tanning bed than you, designer clothes, brand new car, turtleneck and leather jacket girl, you disliked her so bad that you made-out with her boyfriend when she was off on a soccer trip girl. Yeah, that girl, sitting there on the stationary bike. Still practically perfect in every way. I made a point to say "hi" after we had already exchanged awkward glances and new exactly who each was. There I was, frumpy, fat, red-faced, sweat covered and she is Miss America on the stationary bike. To add insult to my already depressed psyche she made a judgement laiden, side glace, rolled eyes when I told her I had just had a baby. Guh. Total TAMN moment.

I looked like this.....

She looked like this...