I'm Highly Philosophical

Let's be honest, I've finally come to the point where I really love my son. Yes, mingled in the last 8 months have been moments of adoration towards him, but I feel like now I truly love him. Boy, those first months were hard. I honestly had no idea what I was getting into. I thought I was prepared, I'd read literature, went to a prenatal class, and for heaven's sake I'm a freakin postpartum RN. Nope. I can't even begin to say how many "come to Jesus" moments I had where I truly just weaped/prayed at the same time. There were times where I didn't know if I would make it through the day. Fast forward to now, I love him. I can handle him. We understand each other. He loves his mama and I love him. We're still breastfeeding 3-4 times a day and doing solids with each meal. He loves to eat puffaroos and chunks of peaches. I make the majority of his baby food and when I get out of the cupboard a can of peaches or pears and see my Grandma Cooks handwriting "07" on the lid I smile, and think of how much she would just eat Brody up. It pangs me inside to think that she won't be here telling me how to raise Brody. But I know that she got to be with him before he came down to me. Maybe that's why he is giving me fits. Grandma always told me that I would have a child that was just like me. Moral of the story, everyone told me, "it will get better," and it now finally has. For all the new mothers out there: stick with it. Don't shake your child, even though you might want to, don't drive off the divide, and keep your head up.

No, I'm Not Mulan

I say this because the following post is a "reflection" (get it) of yesterday. Oh my gosh...it was just one of those days. It started off with reporting for jury duty at 8:45 a.m. Blake is trying to finish this multi-million dollar warehouse and so he couldn't watch Brody. I talked to my dad the night before and coerced him into watching Brody because there was no one else too. I arrived at the parking lot of the 2nd District courhouse in Ogden at 8:30 a.m. where my dad said he would meet me. Guess what?!? No dad. I call his phone. Straight to voicemail. I call again. Staight to voicemail. Call again, straight to voicemail. Call again...get the picture? After about 15 times and starting to build a mild panic in my gut I texted him. No response. Text again. No response. Now it is 8:40. I call my brother David. He is still asleep, dad didn't mention to him about watching Brody...oh crap. David volunteers (no joke) to get out of bed and drive to the courthouse. Brody now is done being strapped down Lagoon rollercoaster style in his carseat. Oh great, he just barfed all over my Ann Taylor, WHITE, tailored collared blouse. Awesome. Really awesome. Wait, the phone is ringing, it's my DAD! Oh, he's already INSIDE the courthouse. (Again, not the plan.) But whew, sigh of relief. Ok, Brody is still in his dinosaur glow in the dark pajamas because I didn't plan on him coming in. Whip them off him. What's that smell...you guessed it...blow out. 8:45 on my phone, grab the wipes, and let's go. Fastest diaper change and mini bath in the car ever! He's dressed. Grab his diaper bag, my purse, my jury summons, and we're out of the car. Ok, in the courthouse, go through security. Dad is there. Ok. Run into the courtroom. Tell the clerk I'm a nursing mother and I can't serve jury duty, she understands and tells the baliff to go tell the Judge. Baliff comes back, Judge says still has to be questioned. Well that's nice considering my Dad has a client he is supposed to meet at 10:30 a.m. Readers Digest version: "I'm Jessica Hall, I'm a registered nurse, My husband is a contractor, I am still nursing my son, my dad is a lawyer and a Judge who is holding my baby in the hallway, my sister is a poly sci major. I know the witness you just mentioned will be testifying, I am biased towards children who get hit on their bikes by people who are text messaging (that was the case), I am Princess Leah, I think everyone is guilty, and I'm psychic." I was still there until 11:00 a.m. after being asked multiple multiple multiple questions by the attorneys and judge. Run to Albertsons for double coupons. Checker argues with me, calls over manager. Manager calls corporate. I win. Fast forward. I am making dinner for a new mother in the ward. The homemade ice cream is not freezing, Brody is screaming his guts out because I'm not paying attention to him. I cannot get the grill to light, my rolls are rising to quickly, I don't have enough butter. Crap. Blake comes home and tells me that he has to go to side job tonight. Fabulous. After making 3 trips across town to the ladies house because I keep forgetting things I take Brody swimming at Jerry and JoAnns to show him I love him. He screams for the first 5 minutes or so then finally loves it. I come home, Blake still isn't home, get Brody fed and bathed. I'm still a drowned cat in my swimming suit, where's Blake, where's Blake. Ok he just pulled in the driveway, he'll be right in. Your kidding me, now he's getting on the lawn mower. Fine, I'll just shower myself and put Brody in his walker. Bad idea. Throws toys in the toilet. Pulls his little tub on top of himself. Screaming again. Finally Blake came in. I yelled at him. I still smell like chlorine. My hair is knotty because of said chlorine. Brody screaming again. GAH!!! Brody feeding. Puts his hand on my shoulder. Looks right into my eyes and smiles. Gives me loveys. Kisses. Falls asleep. Sleeps all night....I can do this, not that bad.

Pick Another Checkout Lane Honey

Another thing that five years ago I never thought I would do-clip coupons. I haven't blogged about it until now because when I read people blogging about the great deals they got couponing I think what weinies they are for posting their good deals. Now I'm one of them. It first started as something I was doing for fun around Christmas time, and now doing Dave Ramsey and tightening our grocery budget I am obsessed. I allow myself to spend $50 a week on groceries/living items for a grand total of $200 a month. I will spend that $50 or so regardless of whether we NEED any groceries that week. If there is a good deal and sale I will still spend the money.

I subscribe and get 5 newspapers on Sundays ($18.99 a month) so that I can stockpile my ads and then I cut each coupon out that I think I might use. Everything from Ziploc bags, juice, frozen pizza, spices, diapers, papertowels, bandaids, etc... I have a recipe file box that I alphbetically put my coupons in. I then log onto pinchingyourpennies.com. Some magical mystical person posts Albertsons, Smiths, and Associated Foods ads for the week. It is broken down so that you can see what the store has on sale, if it's a good buy or not, and then what coupon to combine with it to save even more. Everyone has there own technique and way that works for them-this works for me. Frankly, this week, I raped Albertsons. There was a double coupon insert in Sundays paper for Albertsons where they would match, up to $1.00 any manufacturers coupon. So on Monday and Tuesday I drove to both local Albertsons stores. McCormick Grill Mates: Regular Price $2.99, Sale Price 2 for $4, Price After Coupons: Free! Rhodes Frozen Rolls Regular Price $3.99, Sale Price $2.69, Price after Coupons: $.69. Colgate Total Advanced Whitening Toothpaste Regular Price $4.99, Sale Price $2.49, Price after Coupons: $.49. Activia Yogurt Regular Price $3.19, Sale Price 2 for $5, Price After Coupons: $.50. So this week in total I spent $31.83 on groceries. That included the staples needed, bread, milk and cheese. Kudos to me. This is my receipt after one Albertsons purchase $.12. The worse part is the eye rolling and umph grunts I get from the checkers.

Ladies Love Country Boys

This weekend we headed up to the Dimond D Ranch in Jerome, Idaho for some good ole fashioned branding, castrating and inoculating. My aunt has about 50 head of cattle and had 23 new caves born this Spring. It is a tradition to go up North and help her rastle the cows. Let me clarify, I do not help with the cows though. I have a mortal fear of large animals and I wouldn't even go open/close the gate when Blake and I were riding the truck because the cows were too close. But if someone ever asks me, "do you know how to brand a cow" I can say, "yes, yes I do." This year was nice though because my dad, who is Scoutmaster, coerced his scouts into thinking there was a "branding and cowmanship" merit badge and so 6 scouts really did all the work while we all stood there and supervised. Let me say though, my brother Nate is a freakin' trooper. Holy cow, that kid is tough. I was so proud of him and how he stepped in and got dirty. My cousins are so cute and wanted to help out. Frankly, it was just a joy to be with my family.

Personal Triumphs

Last week was graduation...how do I feel about this? Mixed. If you count my moms fun school that I went to (my mom didn't believe in preschool) I have been going to school for 19 years. I am glad that I am finished with my Bachelor's Degree. What I am mixed about is that I have this feeling that I'm not done with school. Maybe it's because I consider myself a "life long learner" and I'm always reading up on literature or looking for new studies. Deep down inside me I know that I am going to pursue a Master's Degree, when...who knows. I decided I'm going to give myself at least a year break. I elected to NOT walk for graduation because I figured I had put my family and Blake through enough pain. Excuse the thyroid disorder, Cushing's Syndrome picture.

Second, Brody is now sleeping almost 12 hours straight at night. I really believe that this was a personal answer to prayers because I don't cope and function well without sleep. Brody now goes to bed around 8:30 and sleeps until almost 8:00. I am a lucky dog, I'll admit it.

Third, garden in. Last fall if you remember, I had a baby. That meant that the garden did not get tended to after Brody came. So this Spring I had a whole freakin' mess that I stared at everyday with dead, dry, smelly tomato plants, zucchini vines, and corn stalks that hadn't been pulled before Winter. Brody and I ripped everything out about 2 weeks ago, Blake rotortilled the snot out of the dirt, and last night we planted. No starts yet, just corn, spinach, swiss chard, carrots and new potatoes. I am optimistic that since I won't be 47 weeks pregnant this summer I will be able to Martha Stewart the crud out of the garden, or at least make a fair attempt.