Let There Be Peace On Earth

Merry Christmas to all! Our Christmas Eve was spent at Grandma and Grandpas for the annual rare who roast beast, prime rib, dinner. The meat was fantastic and tender, the punch sparkling and the company was even better. It was so nice to get to spend it with my family. After becoming a mother myself I find that I want to spend more time with my family. Not only do they aleve me of Brody and love and hold him, but I love them even more now that I have Brody. I treasure each opportunity I have to get to be with them. I was also grateful that I did not have to work Christmas Eve. I did the holiday schedule this year and purposefully scheduled myself for 11pm to 5am over Christmas Eve because I was the second highest person with senority. It worked. Santa found the Hall and Bean home this year. Santa certainly spoils us! Brody got a high chair, the darling little puppy dog hat and mitten set below, a MASSIVE stocking full of baby food and rice/oatmeal cereal (no we haven't started solids yet, maybe in a month or so), diapers, a fish toy, a ball toy, onesies/sleepers, and more. Blake received a flat screen TV for the front room, work shirts, gift cards, smokin' wood and chips for his blasted smoker, meat gift certificates, DVDs, and a freakin sweet ATV bag. I got brand new work out clothes (for my Yoga), new snow pants (see post below) Victorias Secret makeup, gift cards, a gorgeous framed picture of Christ with children, food storage, stationary, etc... Growing up my parents would tease us that all we would receive each year was bubble wrap to play with and a candy bar because that's all they could afford. For years my father especially made this joke and thought he was so cute and funny. He would sometimes say that because it was a good year at Bean and Smedley we could get a King Size candy bar. So, every year my parents wrap up a candy bar with bubble wrap and give it to us. I hope that tradition never dies. I am constantly amazed at how much my parents have done for me, and am so grateful for the sacrifices that they made so that I could have positive life experiences. Grandma Great and Grandpa Great Hall came to our house during the afternoon and visited, hence the picture below. We hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.

Slaying Dragons, Holiday Cheer? and a Milestone

With the cooler weather has come some unwanted guests. In the last two weeks we have had not one, but two mouses in MY house. The first one I saw out of the corner of my eye run across the living room floor and into the kitchen about a week ago. I slowly crept into the kitchen and saw the mouse near the laundry room. I grabbed Brody and ran into the bedroom. I stuffed towels and blankets under the door so that the mouse couldn't get in and called Blake in a panic. He was, of course, in the back hoe setting some silly fuel tank or something and said that he wouldn't be home for an hour or so. He came home, finally, and placed sticky traps in the laundry room. About 15 minutes later we caught ourselves a mouse. I thought our problems were over, until today. I was folding Blake's jeans hot out of the dryer walking back and forth out of the laundry room to shake the jeans and fold them, when I turned around to go back to the laundry room, there was a big fat brown mouse right in the middle of the laundry room where I had been walking. Heebee jeebees. So I again run and grab Brody in a panic, barricade myself in the bedroom and call Blake. After calling him 6 times without him answering, he finally picked up. He said he would "be right home." 45 minutes later I call him, and oh and he's been over at Casey's, and Westergards. Hello? Doesn't he know I'm about to stroke out because my blood pressure is so high you can't measure it? He eventually came home and this mouse he wacked with the broom (I was not present for the whacking). Hopefully this will have taken care of the mouse problem. I just can't stand thinking that there is a mouse in my house. (I'm shuttering right now).

Next...I have had a hard time getting in the Christmas spirit. Mainly because I have gotten 0 (zer0) help from Blake. Correction, he did get the totes down from the attic. I not only strung all the lights on the Christmas tree myself, but I decorated it, and I even cut the dang tree down when we went Christmas tree hunting. It is not going to win any awards, or appear at the next Festival of Trees, but considering I did it ALL BY MYSELF I think I did a pretty fantastic job.
Third...My little baby was 3 months old this past week. I hear all the time the cliche "I can't believe how big he is," but now I know what they're talking about. He is so much more fun then he was even 6 weeks ago. He is cooing, laughing, and almost rolling over (with help and motivation with toys). He loves his bouncy chair, rattle, and reading stories. He will sit with me for 30+ minutes in front of the bookshelf and read stories with me. He loves "The Little Chick" book, and always bats at the cow and shouts at the pages. It is so fun to see him maturing and not just laying there eating, pooping and peeing.

We always were, and you never knew it!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

What Happens When...

Case and Point. What happens when your wearing snow pants and you stand to close to a 20,000 BTU propane heater?

Yes ladies and germs, that is burnt down to my Gs. But no, it did not melt to my skin. Guess Blake knows what to buy me for Christmas...

My Life...Random...

So I have about a hundred thoughts spinning through my head right now...

1. It's 10:47 pm, your baby is sleeping, quit blog stalking people

2. Why will some people drive around a parking lot for 5 minutes looking for a parking stall?

3. M*A*S*H is the cleverest show ever written, I could watch episodes all day long

4. I am so sick of doing bull s*^& discussions and assignments for school and making up nonsense to just fill up the page

5. Why is it that sometimes when I pump I get 2 ounces and other times 9 ounces?

6. Will I ever fit into size 4 jeans again?

7. People should not have children 12 months apart

8. I hope I don't kill anyone when I go back to work this week

9. I really don't want anything for my birthday

10. Prime Rib is my favorite food of all time

11. If it wasn't for Lanolin I would've stopped breastfeeding day 4

12. I will be on my death bed and still watching Price is Right

13. If I am ever released from my calling as Primary Pianist I will become inactive

14. What really are my odds for winning the PowerBall?

15. I need to get the Christmas decorations down from the attic...gur...

16. I wonder if anything I am saying to Brody gets through, "What sound does the kitty make?" "Let's count how many stinky socks mom is folding."

17. I miss my Grandma Cook

18. I wish I would've thought of RedBox first

19. Private blogs that I'm not invited to really tork me off

20. Will I ever make it through a Yoga class without giggling due to the fact that teacher is earthy granola crazy?

21. Will I ever get over my distain for certain family members?

22. I've got to make pies for Thanksgiving, are you available mom?

23. How did I function without Cafe Rio?

24. How much should I quarantine my child this winter?

25. Am I a good mother?

26. GO TO SLEEP JESSICA!!

What I would buy with my PowerBall Money...

False. Black Bear.

This is my 6th folder 6th picture tag. When I was about 32 weeks prego we went to Fish Lake with my family. Blake caught this biggest fish, of course, and he was very proud of himself. I really don't like fishing, except trolling at Fish Lake. We (the Bean family) have been going there as long as I can remember, and thanks to the Yarbrough's beautiful cabin, it makes Fish Lake really enjoyable. There is something about being out on the water with your husband and dad that just is calming. It was a very fun trip.

Second, congrats to my mom for passing her National Boards. I don't know all the details, or why exactly it is so prestigious, but I do know that it is a really big deal. I think my mom told me that there are only like 12 teachers in the Davis County school system that are National Board acredited. She worked so hard while getting her Masters degree in Education to do these National Boards and she was soooooooo nervous that she wouldn't pass her test or her portfolio wouldn't be good enough, but she totally spanked it!

Third, I just want to blog how grateful I am that I have a healthy baby. I took Brody to the Dr. today and he was 12lbs 2 ounces (75%), 24 inches long (95%) and his head circumference was 50%. The Dr. said he looked so healthy and perfect, nothing wrong. He is developing properly, no problems. I know so many families who have sick kids. Really, really sick kids. It is such a blessing to have a normal baby. We have paid out almost, gosh I don't even know how much, probably $2000 this year for prenatal care, hospital fees, MD fees, check-ups, lab draws, etc...and I can't even imagine how much we would've shelled out if Brody, or myself would've had any complications.

Dear Ole Davis High School

Memories, like the corner of mind, misty watercolor memories...
1. Did you date someone from your school? Yes, and every other high school and junior college across the wasatch front.
2. What kind of car did you drive? My first car, the green Chevy Camaro-T-top and all. Then when I got that taken away from me...Ford Explorer.
3. What was the most embarrassing moment of High School? I didn't think it was embarassing but others were embarassed for me, for the Senior assembly on the last day of school they did an American Idol audition thing and I was asked to clog, so I got in an old school clogging outfit and clogged to "Twist and Shout." I thought I looked awesome, and my cloggin' skills were superb.

4. Were you a party animal? Define party then define animal. But yes, I probably was.
5. Were you considered a flirt? Ha, some of the girls at Davis nicknamed me "homewrecker" because I didn't care if a guy had a girlfriend or not, it was all fresh meat to me.

6. Were you in a band, orchestra, or choir? Negatory.
7. Were you a nerd? Definitely not. I did take A.P. Calculus and that was my nerdiest move.

8. Were you on any varsity teams? Varsity tennis. First in region, second at state two years in a row. Went to every home football game. Loved it. We would get ready all day after school and choose out outfits and do each others hair.
9. Did you get suspended/expelled? No. But I was asked to leave Seminary once.
10. Can you still sing the fight song? Absolutely, I'm a third generation dart. D-H-S Against the men from Davis none can progress...

11. Who were your favorite teachers? The great Mr. Shaw, Mr. Oram, Mrs. Cross, amazing teachers.

12. Where did you sit during lunch? We went to lunch everyday, so it changed all the time. Subway, Bowmans, Taco Time, Wendys.

13. What was your school's full name? Davis High School
14. School Mascot? Darts
15. Did you go to Homecoming and who with? Junior- Spencer Bird. Senior Year- Brody Lawson.
16. If you could go back and do it again, would you? Depends on the day.

17. What do you remember most about graduation? It was really long, and not worth the stupid piece of paper. Boring. I texted through most of it.

18. Where did you go Senior Skip day? Boating at Pine-View
19. Were you in any clubs? No, I passed thanks.
20. Who was your prom date? Junior-Brian Allphin Senior-J.J. Lyon
21. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion? I doubt it. The people I have wanted to keep in touch with I have, I really don't care about anyone else.

22. Looking back, what advice would you give yourself? Stop being suck a "star-bellied" sneech. You don't have to be such a jerk. Treat your parents better, they know a lot more than you do.

Mommy...you are crazy!

This morning I got a break from Mommyville-I guess, I went to school for 7 freakin hours. I am WAY super lucky because of my 15 credits that I'm taking this semester, 7 are online, and when I have to go up to campus it is only about every 3rd Wednesday. I was running a little late to begin with this morning, and when I went to change Brody to make sure he had a clean diaper from the night he, of course, peed all over. All over himself, all across his face, his hair, his clothes, his stomach, the wall, the changing pad, etc...and I thought I could just mop it up, wipe him down with a baby wipe and call it good. Well, as I was trying to get another diaper, he again peed everywhere in the exact same places as before, and this time all over my shirt, down to my Gs. So I ran him into the tub, gave him a quick mama bath, got him settled down and fed just before my mom came. Hair up, I think some mascara on, I ran to the car and up to campus. Of course it was raining, and due to the EXTREMELY inadequate parking at Weber I trekked my way across campus in the downpour. I got to class and sat down just as the teacher walked in. My good friend who was sitting next to me (BTW Congrats DeAnn on the engagement!!) pulled a sucker that was partway stuck onto my shirt off of me, how it got there I don't know. I'm think Blake left it in one of his pockets and in the dryer must have stuck it on. Anywho, I felt stupid, made some joke about me now being a mom and how I was just lucky I showed up to class and shrugged it off...until...I go to the bathroom in between breaks, look at myself in the mirror, and lo and behold, the hanger soft plastic protective cover thingy is still in my shirt. Bright red. The same friend that identified the sucker for me told me later that she thought it was just my bra strap. Nope.

You Be The Judge

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Free family tree templates - Free genealogy

Kind of cute, huh??

Don't Bother Us

Don't bother us, we're sleeping. This is Blake and Brody taking Sunday naps together. How cute is this, seriously!?!

Grateful

Ok, so I know this is a dorky looking picture. But of the 10+ pictures I tried to take this was the best one that turned out, plus I think he might now have retina/cornea damage from the flash on my camera going off so much.

This is old news since the election was three days ago, but, I want to blog how grateful I am that I live in the United States. One thing that was drilled into me as a child was to be patriotic, in fact, the only time I have seen my dad outright cry is when he was talking about the flag and what it meant to him. I was able on Tuesday to leave my beautiful, warm house and drive in my own car to the polling place. I proudly stated my name and address, and almost got emotional when the poll worker thanked me for coming out to vote. I then went to lunch with my devoted husband, and read a newspaper that isn't government controlled. In Saving Private Ryan (yes I know it's rated R) Private Ryan at the very end is kneeling in Arlington Cemetery at the gravestone and looks up at his wife and says, "tell me I've lived a good life, tell me I'm a good man" that's how I feel about living in the United States.

When I went to Washington D.C. to pick up Alyson in May, my favorite day was when we went to Arlington. I saw thousands of graves of brave soldiers, men and women who fought to preserve the freedoms that I enjoy every day. I was able to see the changing of the guard and a wreath laying ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknown solider. That tomb is guarded 365 days a year 24 hours a day by guards. It was very sobering. I hope to someday (when I win the powerball) take my whole family out to D.C. to Arlington. It made me so proud to be a citizen of the United States that day. I get made fun of at parades because it doesn't matter if it's the Plain City 4th of July parade, or any other parade, when the flag goes by I proudly stand up as soon as I can see it, put my hand over my heart, and cry. I am so grateful for my American heritage and the freedoms that I am blessed with.

Quit Whining You Wimp

So lately my blogs have been very, let's say, gloomy. My goal for this week is to be highly optimistic about everything, including writing two papers due this week, a test on pathophysiology of the neurological system, and starting to get my life together to go back to work in a couple of weeks. I think I can be cautiously optimistic about sleeping because the last four nights we have done bath, story, singing, bedtime at 10-11 p.m. and he has slept, fairly soundly, until 6-7 a.m. (Think of the Mormon Tabernacle singing, "Hallelujah!" really loudly) I think we have moved to a more trusting point in our mother-son relationship.

Brody was a cute chicken for Halloween. He did not like the chicken head, but tolerated the costume because I made him.

Brody's blessing was on Sunday. It was awesome. I can't even describe in words what I felt that day. Blake was uber nervous about the blessing and was sick that morning. Brody and I went and set up the Lion's club for the luncheon afterwards and left Blake to have some time alone. I think that did he a lot of good. The blessing was amazing. Brody was awake and had his binky in until about 10 seconds before Blake stood up. I was nervous he was going to scream all the way through the blessing, but he didn't. He was a very good boy. Blake says he earned a pig. I can't believe how many family members came and supported us. We are so blessed! Huge thanks to everyone who helped, brought food, or just gave emotional support.

That night, Blake actually took Brody, by himself, to Grandma Hall's for a little visit. This is the first time Blake has taken him alone, which meant that I got to sit in the bed and watch Sunday night football/Amazing Race in peace and quiet by myself. It was magical.

My Man...

This picture was from our anniversary trip 2007 to Disneyland, hence the donkey ears. I was tagged by Alayna with a husband tag, and since right now he is definately the most neglected person in the house, I need to pay a little tribute to him.

1 )Where did you meet? We were set up on a blind date by Blake's cousin's wife who I worked with at the hospital and was a friend of mine. First date he showed up to my parents house driving a truck, sporting a goatee, talking about these two new hound dogs he had just gotten. I was thinking...this date can't end soon enough. I was texting other people all during our dinner at Ruby River, making plans for doing something after he dropped me off at home. I thought I would never see him again, and then when he said goodbye to me on the doorstep he asked me out on a second date to some Halloween party his friends do every year. He snaked me in.

2) How long did you date before you got married? Our first date was the week before Halloween, we were engaged on January 27, and married June 9.

3) How long have you been married? 3 Blissful Years.

4) What is your favorite feature of his? First his smile, second his arm and shoulder muscles.

5) What is your favorite quality of his? Blake is someone who would do anything for you. He is very willing to serve and give of himself to others (sometimes a little too much).

6) Does he have a nickname for you? He calls me sweetums, which I'm still not quite sure how it got started. My favorite nickname for him is Sugar Plum Fairy (which I kind of got out of the habit of calling him but I think it's going to make comeback).

7) What is his favorite food? Anything Grandma Hall makes. He's a meat and potatoes kind of guy. He says the only thing I make better than Grandma Hall is my waffles. I think it's going to take her dying for me to replace her as head chef.

8) What is his favorite sport? Snowmobiling and Killin' Stuff.

9) When and where was your first kiss? Our first kiss was on our second date. After the Halloween party he asked me if I wanted to come over to his house (side note...He's 28 years old, I'm 18, he wants to "take me to his house", I was nervous) He slipped me the smooch on his couch in his house after my first Halloween party with the friends. His canteen was definately running low.

11) Do you have any children? 1

12) Does he have a hidden talent? I don't know how hidden it is anymore, but he is a great cook. He loves to smoke meat on his ridiculously large redneck smoker, grill, dutch oven, and he wants to start his own smoked meat catering business (lucky me).

13) How old is he? 31

14) Who said "I love you" first? He did, because I refused to say it first. We were sitting on the couch in my parents basement and it was around my birthday, the first week of December.

15) What is his favorite type of music? Anything old from the 1990s that I have never heard of.

16) What do you admire the most about him? I admire about Blake that he is such a hard worker. He is one that cannot just sit around, he has to be doing something. He putters out in his sheds, the yard, other peoples yards, fixing and working on things. He will always have some project he is working on.

17) Do you think he will read this? Are you kidding? No.

Don't Watch Oprah

I somewhat got back a glimpse today of what I felt like before Brody. Alyson Hall watched Brody so that I could go get my hair cut and colored. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOO needing a break from him. He slept horribly last night, Blake and I both were really frustrated. He had been fussy when I took him to my Dr.'s appointment this morning. He was just driving me crazy, so needless to say, I wasn't really sad to drop him off. I was even resenting having to go pick him up. I did though and came home, of course he was crying, he was hungry and wanting to be fed. I sat on the bed, grabbed the boppy and started to feed him. I know I was prompted to turn to Oprah for some reason (I don't watch Oprah...ever...). Her show today was on miracle children who had surpassed the odds and are thriving now. The story though that I caught was on baby Elliot. I didn't even catch what was wrong with him exactly except that he had a whole in his heart and I think a collapsed lung. Anyway, this young couple, who looked closer to my age than Blake knew that there son was going to die shortly after giving birth to him. This couple knew that he wasn't going to be around for very long. So every day at 4:59 p.m. they celebrated his birthday. Everyday they took a picture with him and had in the picture how many days he had been alive. This mother lovingly held her baby every chance she could because she knew that it wouldn't be long before she wouldn't be able to hold him. She even took him to a NICU reunion to show him off and how proud she was that he had lived so long. The piece on Oprah showed every milestone he made, when he turned one month, two months, three months and each was celebration that he had lived so long. Baby Elliot died on day 99. At his funeral (and of course they show the little tiny casket) they released 99 balloons to celebrate each day that he was alive. The mom said that she didn't have time to feel sad because she wanted to be happy with him and enjoy the limited time she had.

The moral of the story is...stop resenting your child and appreciate the fact that you have a healthy baby who does cry at 3:00 a.m., makes messes, and yells and screams if you don't hold him.

Mommy's Favorite Toy

Here is my Brody baby in mama's favorite toy, the bouncy chair. Oh how I love the bouncy chair. Brody sits next to me at the computer when I am trying to do homework and I turn on the vibration feature, he is a happy little man. This is my question to all the moms out there who read this blog...how often do your change your child's clothing? I used to change him head-to-toe if anything on him got poopy or spit up on it. Now it has to be large for me to go through the whole process. Brody has gotten into a little spitty phase where he will, after most feedings, spit up a moderate sized amout of breastmilk/feta cheese smelling stuff. I am getting sick of changing him 4-5 times a day and more sick of doing his laundry twice a day, and frankly, I think Brody is sick of me playing dress-up with him 4-5 times a day. Any suggestions? I think I might be starting to use a bib on him because it's just getting icky.

Oh Stable Boy...

The other morning I awoke to find this in Brody's pants. He was enjoying playing and sopping his foot around in it. If that wasn't bad enough, it was one of my favorite outfits that he has, and after multiple Shout and Dreft treatments you could hardly tell that he had soiled his britches. Brody and I are finally getting into a loose routine. He tends to go to bed between 10-11 p.m. and will sleep to 3 or 4 a.m. I only feed him on one side at the am feeding because he can't stay awake long enough to do both sides, so he's up again at 7 or so.

On a side note, everytime that Blake watches Brody, Brody is well behaved. It makes me so mad, because of course with me during the day he constantly wants to be held, played with, sung too, entertained. But, when Blake is watching him they can just sit on the bed together and watch stupid nature shows about baby puma snow cats or something and Brody just sits there next to him not making a sound. I am tempted to sabotage the next time that Blake watches him and hide all of my pumped milk in the freezer so he can't have anything to eat, take all the binki's, and leave him hungry...wah ahh ahhh ahhhh. (Think of an evil witch laugh...) Then we will see how "easy" it is to take care of Brody.

My Handsome Boy

Driving me to drink...

He looks so innocent...

The last two weeks has been crazy! In the movie Overboard, Goldie Hawn is stressed out after having totally cleaned and overhauled the house and the kids are throwing grapes at her face and she is saying, "bub ba bub bub ba bub." That's how I've felt the last couple of weeks. I am really trying to work on getting Brody on a schedule, this is what is causing me drink....Dr. Pepper. I love Dr. Pepper SO much, it really is my addiction. I tried when I was pregnant to only have one liter pop from the gas station every other week, but it really was once every week. There is a line from friends when Gunther takes a drag of Chandler's cigarette and says, "Oh dark mother, how I suckle at your teet," which totally describes my feelings towards Dr. Pepper. This was going great, I had lots of energy, I was a happier more pleasant wife, until.....I discovered, Brody does NOT like Dr. Pepper through breast milk. The days that I drank Dr. Pepper he was so onery, crying, screaming, whailing, whining. So, I had to axe the one thing in my life that was keeping me saine, the one "spoil" thing that really brings me happiness, for my child. Yet again, another sacrifice.

I was talking to a girl I work with on the phone and she told that it's ok to resent your baby. When you think about how your body is never going to look the same, your relationship with your husband will never be the same, your time is never your own, it's ok to be resentful. There are some days when I really just long for the days of scrapbooking all day, going to the gym when I want, not having to plan a 30 minute shopping trip for 4 hours prior to leaving the house. But then, all you have to do is look in the face of your baby, and your heart melts. I have never felt such instant love, and never thought that I could love a little person so much as I do with Brody. President Monson's talk in the Sunday morning session of conference was about change. Dealing with and accepting the changes in your life. That talk was an answer to prayers. Life is about changes, we're not supposed to be stagnant. You have to take changes, and have faith not knowing what your decisions and new adventures may bring. (Do I sound highly philosophical?)

Another funny story, my boss called me on Wednesday to ask me how I was doing postpartum. She actually called me from her cell phone on vacation with her family. This totally surprised me, because she is not like this at work. As we were talking she kept asking me if I was doing ok, that I didn't sound like myself, and how was I REALLY feeling. I guess that day I must have sounded stressed or suicidal or like I had postpartum depression, I don't know. But, I was flattered that even my boss would call to check on how I was doing.

Splish Splash

On Friday Brody's umbilical cord fell off, so Saturday was BATH TIME!! Brody forced the bath a little earlier than scheduled, because of course he peed all over himself when I was changing him. He was very unsure of the bath tub at first, maybe because Blake didn't want him to get burned so the water in his tub was the temperature of Bear Lake. After he got used to the initial shock, he did very well. He splashed around a little bit, screamed when mom washed his face, peed again in the bath tub, but I think overall he enjoyed it. Until...he had to get out of the bath. Oh, he just wailed when I took him out (again I think it was that he was cold). Thanks to Aunt Nadine for the cute "I'm the cleanest cub" lion towel with his name on it.

Life With One Hand

Brody just enjoying his $180 swing that we got for him. I have come to realize that my life for the next few weeks will be lived with just my right hand. I am having to type on the computer with one hand trying to do my homework, laundry (yes, you can fold with just one hand), loading the dishwasher, writing thank you cards, doing the OB/GYN holiday schedule, etc... He just loves to be held. Blake says I am spoiling him by picking him up when he cries, I just can't ignore it. Blake will just put him on the floor and let him kick and scream and cry until he stops, which is worse??? I am looking forward to the weekend because Blake will be home. I don't know why but just having him home, even though most of the time he is not doing anything with Brody makes a huge difference (a huge difference for my mental health). Brody really is a good baby, he sleep for about 6 hours at night from 10pm-4am and does really well. The problem is that during the day he then goes every 2-3 hours between feedings. Aunt Aly is here and giving him a bath right now. He does NOT like bath time, so I am sure he will be ready to feed after she finishes.

A Classic Hall Face

Brody loves to pull faces. This is the classic "Blake" face which he does quite often. Blake gives me this look often, but Brody seems to be doing it more.

Against Everything I Said I Wouldn't Do

Unknown to me last night, Blake took this picture of Brody and me. Glamour has totally gone out the window, as you can tell. I have found that already as a mother, things that I said I would never do, I have done. Last night I was SO tired that around 12:30 a.m. I barked at Blake that he needed to take care of Brody. He had just fed for 45 minutes and had taken in 3 ounces of pumped breastmilk and was still being fussy. (I later found out in the morning that he was angry because he had to poop...Blake changed his first poopy diaper last night, and said that we might need to hire a stable boy to take care of Brody's diapers!) Instead of putting Brody in his sleeper by the side of the bed, which we had been doing, Blake decided that Brody should sleep in the bed with us. I still am anti-this idea. Can you say SIDS??? Suffocation??? But guess what, Brody freakin loves to sleep in the bed. I don't know if it's that he's warm, or the bed is more comfortable then his sleeper, or that his tummy was just REALLY full, but he slept, according to Blake from 1:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. This is the longest he, and I, have ever slept since consecutively since he was born. I also said I wouldn't give Brody a binki until he was 3 weeks old. This was shot down on day 4 of life. I said no artificial nipples. Shot down on day 3. So already, motherhood is about being flexible.

Moma Milk Cow

After much trial and tribulation last night, we have figured out that Brody loves to eat. (Go figure???) Much like his father he will eat, and then eat, then eat again, and then have a snack. Right now he is only going about 2 hours between feedings, despite the fact that mom's milk has already come in, and that I am shoving formula down him after feedings to help get his bilirubin level down. This facilitates great bonding between mom and son, but not alot of great sleep. This is where Grandma Bean comes in! Thanks to my mom I was able to get in about 4 hours of sleep during the day today in between feedings, I even got to shower! I never realized how much I would appreciate having someone come and take care of Brody and me. Shaylee brought us dinner last night, yummy chicken parmesean. Tek and Chauntel surprised us with pizzeria pizza and Vurlia brought bambito pie and this amazing fruit creation thing. Many thanks again to all who have helped us. I am cautiously optimstic that tonight will go better than last night....Brody is crying again, wonder what he wants....

An Abbreviated Baby Story

There is too much, let me sum up. I began contracting around 11:30 p.m. on Saturday September 13. I had been cleaning to the house and just got into bed when the contractions began. At 2:00 a.m. I woke Blake up and said, "we need to go to the hospital...now!" My contractions had gone from being 10 minutes apart to 7 minutes apart to 5 and then to 3. We got to the hospital about 3:00 a.m. and I immediately was ready for my epidural. (Please disregard previous blogs about natural childbirth....) I got my epidural at 4:00 a.m., was dilated to a 3 and felt great. At 8:00 a.m I was only at a 4 so they started Pitocin. 8:45 a.m. the Dr. broke my water (or so we thought) and by 10:30 a.m. I was at a 7. My nurse even commented that I would probably have my baby by 12:00! Oh and there was rejoicing. Then...came then...I started to feel this insane pain in my back on my left side. Worse then the contractions. It was a a constant pain that never went away. I drove Blake and my nurse crazy because nothing that they did helped with the pain, it was still there and excruciating. Blake even had to leave the room for awhile because I was so angry, irrate and acting naughty. Then the baby started to stress out, so the pitocin went off, the oxygen came on, and the pain was worse. Over the next 3 hours I dilated from a 7 to an 8 to a 9 and then finally complete around 3:00. I began pushing around 3:15 or so. We then found out what was causing all the insane pain. Brody's head was twisted to hard to the left and down, and he had his right fist underneith his chin. After 2.5 long hours of pushing, he finally arrived at 5:41. Honestly, it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I thought about giving up multiple times and saying that I couldn't do it. My Dr. was so great and stayed with me the whole time, (she thought possible c-section if my pushing wasn't working, so she stayed just in case). I was so greateful that she stayed with me, she was an excellent motivator, coached me through each contraction, praised me when really there was nothing to be praised for and just offered support. Thank you Dr. Lochner!!! Blake did really well and stayed by my side through it all. He held my leg and surpassed my expectations of what I thought he would do. Blake loves Brody. He loves to hold him, to talk to him, kiss him, and he wanted to take him out to see the Dog and the 4-wheeler when we got home. Mom vetoed that idea. Well, mom is functioning on almost negative hours of sleep over the last 4 days so to rest for awhile I go. We love you all and appreciate all your concern for us, all the presents, phone calls, meals, etc...

Too many kisses

Blake is always telling me that we kiss too much. Is there really such at thing??? Blake snaked me the smooch on our second date. He wouldn't take me home after the movie was done that we were watching and just sat there on the couch. (His canteen must've been pretty empty).

I couldn't help but wonder...(SATC) what are the top kisses of all time. I know this sounds corny, and very Junior Highish but I came up with my list of the best movie/TV kisses of all time.

1. The Princess Bride (Wesley and Buttercup)-could it get any better than surviving the pit of despair, fire swamp, being a dread pirate Roberts and then saving your princess and kissing her on a white horse?

2. The Notebook-"it isn't over, it still isn't over." Come on, they were meant to be together.

3. Pretty Woman-"Anything. But I don't kiss on the mouth." Greater amount of intimacy when Vivian kisses Edward then when she actually sleeps with him.

4. Ross and Rachael-After watching the flashback video of Monica and Rachael getting ready for the prom, Ross steps in to take Rachael after her date doesn't show up. Rachael never knew that Ross had done this for her because her boyfriend finally came. Rachael walks across the room and kisses Ross.

5. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days-The shower scene...need I say more. Andy finds herself actually falling in love for him. "It Feels Like Home to Me" song is on my wedding video!

6. High School Musical 2-Ok, I'm a closet HSM fan. I'll just bow my head in shame. When Troy and Gabrielle finally kiss on the lawn after the talent competition holding the Japanese lanterns and Troy says, "Here's to tonight."

7. McClintock (Dev Warren and Miss Becky)-An old John Wayne movie, but during the Indian

stampede Dev and Becky dive into the Hay to hide...and smooch!

8. Titanic-How can I not throw this one in? It has been so overdone, but when Jack kisses Rose on the bow of the ship, it's forbidden love at it's best.

9. Sleeping Beauty-Only the best Disney movie ever! Prince Phillip saves Aurora and awakens her from sleep by one kiss. "Where one drop of blood can drain the life from the castle, so can one kiss bring it back."

10. Sound of Music-When Leisel is kissed under the gazebo by the guy going to be a nazi (I forget his name), and she screams out in glee...hehehehe.

Push 'em out, Shove 'em out, Way out

Brody's crib and bedding is ready for him, wait it has been for 2 months. After much searching I finally decided on this Pottery Barn Chase crib set and had his little initials monogrammed. If I could sew (sorry Grandma Cook), I would've just made my own set, but alas, I can't even thread my sewing machine.

Carol Burnett described labor pains as taking your bottom lip and pulling it up over your head. So, who in their right mind would want to have a natural childbirth?!? It it so few and far between that I ever take care of a patient who labors without anesthetics. What is amazing to me though, is those women who do go natural normally do not fit the profile of who you would think would have a natural childbirth. I don't believe that having an epidural will hurt the baby, cause autism, or has any detrimental effect on the child...my reasons for wanting to go natural are completely selfish. That's right selfish. I want to see for myself how much I can push my body and how strong I really am. I have been told by women who have had a natural birth that you reach a point, a really dark scary point where you think you will either really die, or have a child. Once you "give into the pain" and accept it, your labor progresses so quickly and before you know it, you have a baby. Frankly, if I went into labor right now, I would request an epidural right away with how crappy I feel. But, hopefully within the next day or so I can get healthy enough where I can feel like I can attempt a natural childbirth.

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Expectant mothers get so much sleep...HA! And to add insult to injury, I have come down with a cold. It's probably just West Nile Virus or Malaria (Blake and I were outside on Monday night). I slept horribly last night because I couldn't breathe so I propped myself up in bed, then the baby didn't like the position, so I would lay down, then Blake whapped me in the back with his knee...and this happened ALL night long. In between bathroom runs, getting a drink, checking the weird noise I heard in the other room I came up with a list of things I don't like about being pregnant.

1. My body will never be the same...sure I think I really faired well with stretch marks, but I will never have the same figure I once did. Which leads me to...
2. I have gained 50 pounds. 50 FREAKING POUNDS!!! That is the size of a third grader.
3. My breasts are mimicking a small solar system in size. I was always well endowed, now I think they look completely digusting and unattractive.
4. The things I love to eat (spaghetti, mexican food, otter-pops, water) all give me heartburn and I wake up with a dry, on fire mouth.. Although it has gotten significantly better since the baby dropped about 2 weeks ago.
5. The way people treat you when your pregnant. I keep telling people "Pregnancy does not equal handicapped" but no one seems to listen or they just disregard what I'm saying. I am carrying a baby, I am not a baby.
6. Not knowing when this kid is going to come. It torks me off so badly inside that for the last six weeks or so I have been preparing for this baby to come. Each day I think "is this going to be the day?" and then I am sorely disappointed. Blake is getting this way also. He is SO anxious for the baby to come. I think because he is looking forward to me not whining about being pregnant.

But, regardless of all of those "negative" things about being pregnant, I truly have loved growing this baby inside of me. Life really is a miracle, and having the blessing of being given the opportunity to raise and have a child, is incredible. There is no greater calling then to be a mother. I already have such an attachment to this baby (I am getting teary eyed writing this) that if anything happened to him, I would be so sad, and I haven't even met him yet. One of my favorite quotes is from Juno where Vanessa says, "A woman becomes a mother the second she finds out she is pregnant, a father when he sees the baby for the first time." How true this is. I already feel like a mother, and that on the day that he is born he is really 10 months old, because that's how long I have been caring for him. I will miss feeling him kick, especially when I push on a leg or an elbow and he kicks me back. I will miss Blake rubbing my tummy and talking to the baby about going to the sand dunes, fishing, and getting him a pup. But despite this, I can't wait to meet him, to hold him, to love him.

Welcome to my blog...I'm still learning

This is a disgusting picture that Blake took of me last night.

**Thanks Blake for getting my stretchies in the picture also.

Instead of working on homework today, which I should be doing, I decided to create a blog. I love blog stalking on other people's sites, so I figured people could start stalking me. Please forgive the blandness of the blog, hopefully I can talk Alyson into helping me spice it up a little bit.

Top news story...still...no baby. I am so far past my due that I have completely forgot how many days I am overdue now. I was forced though today to set an induction date, which I didn't want to do. I see so many women who want to have "designer births," "elective c-sections", etc. that I didn't want to be one. Which is why now I am being punished by going so far past my delivery date. I believe that women have been having children for thousands of years without delivery dates, ultrasounds, inductions, lactation specialists, and RNs for that matter that you should just trust your body and let your body do what it is supposed to do. I even contemplated having a home birth at one time. Then I realized how stupid of an idea it was. (I'm also a realist and know how much can go wrong in a really short amount of time). One of my favorite documentaries is called "The Business of Being Born." If you have two hours to kill, check it out. It really shines a light on the healthcare system in America interferring with the woman's natural way of giving birth. So whether I want to have my body decide to have a baby on its own or not, in less than a week we will be parents.

(And I am now stepping down off of my soap box)