That is really the only uplifting and positive thing I can say right now. I shouldn't blog at night after I've worked the previous day, where the previous night I only slept about 2 hours, and took care of a child all day who chose not to take a nap and is still running amuck around the house. Maybe I'm ready to have the Cymbalta discussion with my doctor. I received Brody's emergency room bills from Madison Memorial Hospital in Rexburg and Primary Children's. Damage: $899.62 for Rexburg, $759.34 for Primary's. I was actually really surprised. I thought it would be much more substantial. This means that instead of going on NO vacation for our Anniversary we can afford to go on an overnighter to Wendover, during the week.I hate to compare, so I will, but...are you ever amazed when you look at women you work with or women in your ward how they do it? I took care of a patient a couple of days ago who had just had her 5th child, without any anesthesia of course, who homeschooled all of her children, her husband was in the Stake Presidency, she was Young Women's President, her oldest child was invited to play with the Utah Symphony, she was telling me how she cooked 2 months worth of dinners prior to delivering the baby and stored them in her freezer to pull out, she owns her own etsy shop business where she sews baby blankets, burp rags and carseat covers, and when her children came to the floor they didn't come across as weird homeschooled children. Now why can't I be like that? I just honestly stared at her sitting in her hospital bed and wanted to cry, or strangle her. She had it all together. Why can't I? There are days where I don't change out of pajamas, don't wear makeup or do my hair, am lucky to start the dishwasher or pick up toys, we eat Ramen Noodle and corn dogs, and normally fall asleep on the couch watching Baby Einstein McDonald farm.
I have been having this gut feeling lately, maybe it's just a gastric ulcer, but I am starting to think I need to get my Master's degree. If there ever is a time in my life to do it, NOW is it. This only means that I will spend less time with my Brodster than I already do...is it really worth it?!? If I do, what am I going to get my degree in? I don't want to do Midwifery, I am too tender hearted. I don't want the responsibility of a Neonatal or Women's Health Nurse Practitioner. That leaves education or health administration. Yuck.
Thanks for listening. This is a lot cheaper than hiring a therapist. I promise a juicy post on The Bachelor.
6 comments:
Oooooo... a bachelor post, that's what I'm waiting for! And I think all girls get that feeling... "Why can't I?" You will just have to wait for my first breakdown as a college student post :)
You are funny even when your down :)
Some people really do appear to have it all together, but I don't believe it! Something has got to slide somewhere -with everybody- she probably has a filthy house ;) O.K. I doubt it, but there is somewhere those kind of people have to slack off.
For me, I go in spurts. One week so grateful for my life and blessings, the next feeling like I can't stay on top of anything, life is crazy, and everyone is bugging me.
Personally, I love the people that are REAL, that you can relate to...that's why I love your blog.
My hubby is out of town, I haven't done my laundry in over a week and my dishes are piling up in the sink. It is noon and I haven't showered, I am still in my PJs. Death my humiliation would probably come if anyone came to my door right now but such is life and I can only do so much.
Yes, I long to have it all done and in its perfect place but Candyland calls my name, pretend food must be prepared in the pretend kitchen and that I find is more important.
Seriously - I think we all feel this way - and I am right there with you. Most days I'm lucky to have laudry and dishes done. That's it. Dinner is rarely gourment and I keep feeling guilty about preparing food our of box and frozen veggies. We're going to be a fat family dying of cancer becuase I'm not preparing everything organic and from scratch. Eden begs me to play with her every spare moment and I feel guilty if I take any time for me. I would say most of us aren't going to be like that patient and even she's got to have some issues somewhere. She just puts on a good show! Love reading your thoughts. Keep them coming!
Okay, so when I read everything that lady was doing I just kept thinking: some things people do can be measurable and listed - but Jess, you're doing SO many things as well, so I know you already said - "not to do the whole comparing thing" - but I just wanted you to know that YOU ARE AMAZING. that lady is an apple, you're an orange (or whatever fruit is your favorite)
I'm sure there is a person who is blogging about you on there blog saying: "who is this crazy woman, doing WAY too many things and SO well too!"
I love you, you're stellar - and don't forget it!
I totally agree w/the above comment. I look at you and think how the heck does she do it? You are amazing: wonderful mom, great friend, great wife, great cook, awesome nurse, play the piano, sing, gorgeous, the list goes on and on! You need to give yourself a huge pat on the back! We all have our days where we have to recuperate from all the days on end of craziness!
Thanks so much for the nice card, so thoughtful of you:)
Post a Comment