Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Expectant mothers get so much sleep...HA! And to add insult to injury, I have come down with a cold. It's probably just West Nile Virus or Malaria (Blake and I were outside on Monday night). I slept horribly last night because I couldn't breathe so I propped myself up in bed, then the baby didn't like the position, so I would lay down, then Blake whapped me in the back with his knee...and this happened ALL night long. In between bathroom runs, getting a drink, checking the weird noise I heard in the other room I came up with a list of things I don't like about being pregnant.

1. My body will never be the same...sure I think I really faired well with stretch marks, but I will never have the same figure I once did. Which leads me to...
2. I have gained 50 pounds. 50 FREAKING POUNDS!!! That is the size of a third grader.
3. My breasts are mimicking a small solar system in size. I was always well endowed, now I think they look completely digusting and unattractive.
4. The things I love to eat (spaghetti, mexican food, otter-pops, water) all give me heartburn and I wake up with a dry, on fire mouth.. Although it has gotten significantly better since the baby dropped about 2 weeks ago.
5. The way people treat you when your pregnant. I keep telling people "Pregnancy does not equal handicapped" but no one seems to listen or they just disregard what I'm saying. I am carrying a baby, I am not a baby.
6. Not knowing when this kid is going to come. It torks me off so badly inside that for the last six weeks or so I have been preparing for this baby to come. Each day I think "is this going to be the day?" and then I am sorely disappointed. Blake is getting this way also. He is SO anxious for the baby to come. I think because he is looking forward to me not whining about being pregnant.

But, regardless of all of those "negative" things about being pregnant, I truly have loved growing this baby inside of me. Life really is a miracle, and having the blessing of being given the opportunity to raise and have a child, is incredible. There is no greater calling then to be a mother. I already have such an attachment to this baby (I am getting teary eyed writing this) that if anything happened to him, I would be so sad, and I haven't even met him yet. One of my favorite quotes is from Juno where Vanessa says, "A woman becomes a mother the second she finds out she is pregnant, a father when he sees the baby for the first time." How true this is. I already feel like a mother, and that on the day that he is born he is really 10 months old, because that's how long I have been caring for him. I will miss feeling him kick, especially when I push on a leg or an elbow and he kicks me back. I will miss Blake rubbing my tummy and talking to the baby about going to the sand dunes, fishing, and getting him a pup. But despite this, I can't wait to meet him, to hold him, to love him.