Slightly Disturbing

So I'm at Walmart yesterday, which is strike 1 against me. I HATE HATE HATE going shopping now with Brody. Inevitably he always ends up having a meltdown in the store. On a good day he spirals downward as we're checking out. He just hates sitting in the carseat strapped in without me picking him up. Can you blame him?? And like I'm going to take him out and sit him in that germ invested, one lick away from a Pediatric admission and antibiotics basket. Anyway, I'm over buying Brody's poly-vi-sol vitamins (the reason why he is taking vitamins is another post) and this elderly couple turn down the aisle. The gentleman is approximately 324.7 lbs, wearing oxygen, and is in an electronic wheelchair. The lady should be in a wheelchair and is moving at the speed of a pregnant holstein heifer. She weighs maybe 120 lbs wet, and could probably be blown away with a good headwind. I moved my cart off to the side, smiled politely and watched. They proceeded to head down the aisle to the, how shall I say, "pregnancy prevention" products. Not wanting to pass this golden moment up I followed them down the aisle and pretended like I was looking at feminine hygiene products. Their conversation proceeded something like this:

Gentleman: Those ones are too small.

Lady: But I like them.

Gentleman: Get the other brand.

Lady: I'll get what I want.

Gentleman: How about some of that oil stuff.

Lady: What do we need that for.

I was seriously looking around for Ashton to jump out and tell me I'd been punked. I could not keep a straight face. I was snickering and giggling so bad that I pulled out my cell-phone and pretended like I was talking to someone on it. (Don't act like you haven't ever done that)

The only thing that I could've done, as a professional RN of course, was to politely inform them that once you're approaching death, you really don't need to use condoms anymore.